Sunday, January 8, 2012

Solitaire

   Procrastination is a large part of my life, though I like to think of it more as good time management. I'm not so bad that it deters my work that needs to be done, but it's enough to where I feel I have to bother myself to do the work, which is really what this post is about.
   I spend-- as I'm sure many teens do-- a decent amount of time on the computer. While a portion of the time is directed towards productivity such as writing, a bigger portion of the time is what could be considered wasted time.
   Immediately clicking internet when my computer turns on, I usually check facebook, put on some music, and virtually do nothing. Feeling the need to be actually doing something, solitaire has become a common game for me. My mom taught me how to play solitaire when I was younger because I loved playing games but there was not always someone willing to play with me. I picked up on it, and now it, along with internet and Word, is one of my frequently open windows.
   Often I can spend a long time just listening to music and playing solitaire. And usually the entire time, my mind is arguing with itself that I could be doing something more productive. During school it's homework, during break it's writing. I tell myself I'm about to do something productive, but instead when I finish up the game, I click 'yes' to a new game automatically and start playing.
Screenshot of a typical day: facebook, youtube, blog, Word, and on top-- solitaire.
   Really though, when I'm playing solitaire and listening to music, I'm doing more: I'm thinking. I realized that while my fingers are clicking away and dragging black sevens onto red eights, or clicking on the deck to show the set of three cards, I'm playing the game rather mindlessly-- that's not where my thoughts are. I'm actually brainstorming ideas, playing out stories in my head, planning out my days to come. It is similar to the way I am when I watch TV during the commercials-- I zone out and think of what to do for when I actually feel like being productive.
   While I realize this, my brain will forever to continue to pester me whenever I open up the solitaire window on my computer. As usual though, I will just ignore that little voice in my head-- that is, until I really do need or feel like doing something other than playing solitaire.

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