Monday, April 30, 2012

There's No "Love Triangle" in Team

  So in the past years popular books series have turn into epic (or not so epic--matter of opinion, I suppose) movies. You, unless a recluse, know what I am talking about-- Harry Potter, Twilight, and most currently, the Hunger Games. I am perfectly fine with two of the three-- you know what, scratch that, I'm good with all three, Twilight for a good laugh (don't worry, this is not bashing Twilight time-- I do that enough with my friends to where I don't find it necessary to put into a blog post). Anyway, I like the concept of turning the books into movies, as it causes books and reading to become a fad and then look at that, kids actually are reading (I know someone out there is saying in a sassy voice, "no, they just watch the stupid inaccurate movies and miss the whole point" and that may be true for some, but I still have faith in the youth of today and like to think that if a movie that is from a book seems awesome, people will turn to the original and pick up the book).
  But alas, I digress. With Twilight came "teams" for the likes of creepy-yet-somehow-described-as-perfect Edward and I-was-only-popular-after-I-took-off-my-shirt Jacob.And now with Hunger Games becoming annoyingly popular some fans are starting teams for my-name-sounds-like-bread-cuz-I-bake Peeta and hey-let's-catch-some-squirrels Gale. 
   WARNING: Hipster Statement So I read the Hunger Games series like a year ago *puts on hipster sunglasses* before it was cool. But no, on a serious note, a couple of my friends who read a lot referred me to the series so I guess that's why I heard about them before the craze. And it's a great series, don't get me wrong; it's just that I read it and moved on. Now that everyone is up and arms about the books and movies it's just a bit annoying because I stopped thinking about the books a long time ago.
   But let's get back to the point. I, like some fans, find the whole "team" thing to be unnecessary for the series. I  think it's unnecessary because to me it's very obvious who she'll end up with and so I don't see the point of teams when one obviously is getting more Katniss lovin' than the other. Plus there's the fact that it's a dystopia where children are killing each other (SPOILER ALERT-- a bunch of people die all the time) and so who she ends up with shouldn't really be the main point of the story-- just a side note, emotional, oh-yeah-this-is-a-teen-novel-so-let's-add-romance part. 
   But then I got to thinking. What if this whole team thing isn't a fad, and the people blaming Twilight and stupid fan-crazed teenagers are wrong? What if teams always arose whenever books with any romantic interests were published?
   So now, to depict this idea, I give you several doodles of nondescript stick figures and their teams:

Okay, so maybe the last one is not as romantic, but I had to add The Picture of Dorian Grey since it's my favorite book and I love Oscar Wilde. Plus it's just a little bit true (I'd be team Basil, just saying.) But anyway, I hope you found this entertaining, and if you have any good literary teams, comment and let me know! I'd love to hear some more!

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Best "Exotic Pet"

   You know those crazy (stupid) people who own "exotic pets" (wild animals)? Yeah, those people you hear about with like tigers and chimps as pets instead of, I don't know, a hamster. You know why you know what I'm talking about? Because you hear about them in the media because they get mauled or killed or their face gets eaten. It's true. I would never own an exotic pet, for reasons that those with common sense I'm sure can understand-- I, for one, do not want to get mauled or killed or have my face eaten. But beyond that, I find it cruel and completely ridiculous to take a wild animal out of it's natural habitat. And these people are surprised that they're mauled? Hello, your tiger is not a kitty. It is a predator. There are reasons why people domesticated animals-- so they would be domestic and not wild and not kill you. That's why that happened, and that's why you should have a domestic pet and not a fucking chimp that will indeed bite your face off if you look at it the wrong way (and said "wrong way" is determined by the chimp, not you).
   This rant I am using as a disclaimer, just to make clear that I in no way support having wild animals as pets, and would never ever have a wild animal as a pet because I am highly (and clearly, after that rant), against it.
   However, if I was to have a wild animal as a pet, I would without a doubt have a sloth. Yes, a sloth. They would make a fantastic buddy (I'm not even going to use the word pet because I seriously don't want one as a pet-- I really just want to cuddle with one. Judge me all you want.) for several reasons:

  1.    They are beyond adorable. Have you seen a baby two-toed sloth? I have, and this is literally the thought that runs through my head as I stare into it's cute lovable eyes: IT JUST WANTS LOVE. AND I WANT TO GIVE IT THAT LOVE. I am dead serious, that is what I think. Look at that baby sloth hugging that giraffe stuffed animal. You know you wish you could be that stuffed animal.
  2. They are not dangerous predators. Common sense, kids. You want a wild animal for a pet? How about not getting a vicious carnivore then? Sloths eat leaves, and due to this diet they have a slow metabolic rate and therefore are very low energy creatures. They are slow moving and tend to sleep a lot. In fact, they move so slow that in the wild algae grows on them (provides camouflage for them, so not necessarily as bad as it sounds). Point being, even if the sloth did want to kill you, you'd probably walk away before it could really do anything. Beyond maybe a glare here and there, you probably wouldn't even know it wanted to kill you. Though I like to think that sloths would be a benevolent creature, who wouldn't have murderous desires.
  3. They are fucking adorable. I don't think you understood the first time. These critters are just about the cutest thing in the world. Here, look at another picture. It's so happy looking. It's just like "Hey there, I'm just an adorable baby sloth, hugging onto some fuzzy thing. Nah, it's cool, I can hang here while you bask in awe at my cuteness." Yep. That's right. Except that I would actually like to think that sloths would be a very humble creature, so read that quote in an innocent and sweet tone.
  4. Just in case you're still uncertain of their cuteness. I can't possibly fathom that any of you could possibly still be doubting their absolute adorableness, but in case you are (or you're like me, and just want more slothy goodness), watch this video. Because not only do they look adorable, but they also make the cutest noises. Brace yourselves for utter cuteness.
   You can die happy now, can't you? So, to recap, I love sloths. Probably a bit too much, but seeing as I'm a nerd when it comes to animals in general, I'm not too concerned. Plus, I made a valid argument as to why I love them so very much. As you can about imagine, I want to visit a sloth sanctuary (where the video was) and it is truly a dream of mine to hold a baby sloth. It will happen. And then my life will be complete.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

An Epic Post

Intro to Epic Post: Hey kids, it's April already-- who would have thought? And today I give to you a strange post. Here's what happened: I wasn't doing anything and decided that meant it was a good time to post something. Well, not knowing what to post, I put on some music. I put on "Speaking Unto Nations (Beethoven Symphony no. 7-- II)" which is a track from the beyond amazing movie, The King's Speech. That is, in case you are unsure, the music that plays as he give the final epic speech. So in response to such epic music playing, I started writing my own epic speech. Only mine is about Spring, and might be over-the-top. I'm not sure. So may I suggest that as you read it, you should listen to the song ( but if you don't want to do that, please at least read this as if it was an epic speech. That's all I ask. Enjoy my dramatic moment:

 Spring is upon us, my children, and it is the time of which grand outdoor activities are to be had. We must cast ourselves into the grandeur of outdoors and greet Mother Nature herself upon our quest of rejoicing in the finer weather.
   We endured the shivers and adversities of the torrent Winter season, and prevailed. We have made it through the hardships of chilly winds and dark nights. Now we find ourselves in a time of prosperity, where flowers have bloomed and the sun shines, casting down joyous light from the bluest of skies.
   Not that everyday is to be such perfection, as the weather will still change, as storms still will pass through the sky on occasion. When it does rain, however,  it rains to feed the world, to provide for a plentiful life and beautiful days to come. So do not cower in the face of a storm in this season of which Mother Nature flourishes. Patience through the storm will prove worthy, and in the coming days, the clouds will clear and again you will bask in the shining sun, feeling its warmth upon your face and finding the inner joy that has been waiting to relish in the Spring.
   Upon the days of perfection, when the sky is a pleasurable shade, and the sun's rays are welcoming, do find yourselves delved in Nature. Thrust yourselves into the lightened meadows and forests and gardens in your life, greet them as you would an old friend, for they are the setting to your new quest, your new adventure, your new story. It is not indoors hiding away in your bed, but in laying in a meadow, hiking through a forest, resting your feet in a cool stream or riverbed, or simply reading a book on the porch, it is there that you will find the joy and warmth in Spring. It is there that Mother Nature will walk beside you, sit by you, take your hand and tell you how much she has missed your company. She will beam at you, and you in return will be filled with a certain contentedness. A contentedness that only comes during these perfect days, a contentedness that like a flower requires the proper amount of sunlight and nourishment to truly flourish.
   In the blossoming of this contentedness you will remember all that comes with Spring-- the cheery mornings that greet you with chirping birds, the warm afternoons where the world is ready to be explored, the evenings accompanied with laughter and flower scented breezes. And upon this remembrance you find yourself excited and prepared for such a glorious season.
   Spring is upon us, my children, do not let it pass without an adventure.