This rant I am using as a disclaimer, just to make clear that I in no way support having wild animals as pets, and would never ever have a wild animal as a pet because I am highly (and clearly, after that rant), against it.
However, if I was to have a wild animal as a pet, I would without a doubt have a sloth. Yes, a sloth. They would make a fantastic buddy (I'm not even going to use the word pet because I seriously don't want one as a pet-- I really just want to cuddle with one. Judge me all you want.) for several reasons:
- They are beyond adorable. Have you seen a baby two-toed sloth? I have, and this is literally the thought that runs through my head as I stare into it's cute lovable eyes: IT JUST WANTS LOVE. AND I WANT TO GIVE IT THAT LOVE. I am dead serious, that is what I think. Look at that baby sloth hugging that giraffe stuffed animal. You know you wish you could be that stuffed animal.
- They are not dangerous predators. Common sense, kids. You want a wild animal for a pet? How about not getting a vicious carnivore then? Sloths eat leaves, and due to this diet they have a slow metabolic rate and therefore are very low energy creatures. They are slow moving and tend to sleep a lot. In fact, they move so slow that in the wild algae grows on them (provides camouflage for them, so not necessarily as bad as it sounds). Point being, even if the sloth did want to kill you, you'd probably walk away before it could really do anything. Beyond maybe a glare here and there, you probably wouldn't even know it wanted to kill you. Though I like to think that sloths would be a benevolent creature, who wouldn't have murderous desires.
- They are fucking adorable. I don't think you understood the first time. These critters are just about the cutest thing in the world. Here, look at another picture. It's so happy looking. It's just like "Hey there, I'm just an adorable baby sloth, hugging onto some fuzzy thing. Nah, it's cool, I can hang here while you bask in awe at my cuteness." Yep. That's right. Except that I would actually like to think that sloths would be a very humble creature, so read that quote in an innocent and sweet tone.
- Just in case you're still uncertain of their cuteness. I can't possibly fathom that any of you could possibly still be doubting their absolute adorableness, but in case you are (or you're like me, and just want more slothy goodness), watch this video. Because not only do they look adorable, but they also make the cutest noises. Brace yourselves for utter cuteness. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2O0H_t-7Pk&feature=relmfu